Growing Pains

Dear Ryan,

Life for a baby can be rough. I just want you to know that life will get better. Baby acne is hard and can be traumatic for young ones. I know that you are strong and will get through it. :)

You have grown three inches since you were born. That may not be totally accurate since that is what I did here at home. You are starting to grow out of lots of your clothes. Your little thighs are also starting fill out. I love it!!! You have been smiling quite a bit lately, just not at anything we do or say.

We have changed a lot as a family since you were born. Maybe it is more just me. I feel like I have changed a lot. I try to shower and get ready for the day after your morning feeding around 6:30. It makes me feel more productive. I also then can shower while your daddy is home instead of recruiting Grace as your babysitter. I am also a lot more on top of house cleaning. I feel like I have to be or the house falls into chaos.

Last night you were so grumpy before bed and I was not sure that you would make it through family home evening, but as soon as we started you fell asleep and did not wake up. I appreciate blessings that come immediately from obedience. I am all about immediate gratification.

I think that you might be getting a cold and that makes me nervous. I also think that you have cradle cap. I was looking at your hair today, which I love to do often, and your scalp looks like it might be peeling. You have the best hair. It is so soft and it has some curl to it. I like to run my fingers through it.

I am glad that you are here. I needed you more than I knew. Before you were born I was extremely nervous about having a son and a second child. (Ask Granny. She listened to me a lot. I am sure she rolled her eyes and maybe laughed at your neurotic mother, but she let me know I could do it.) One night we were at Daddy's mission reunion and I was talking to President Young and I voiced some of my concerns. He then referenced the Proclamation to the Family. he talked to me how each family has been divinely designed and that we are here for each other. He said that we can reach our potential in the families we are born into. He told me that I can help you more than another mother could and that is why you are mine. I was so grateful for his words. I felt a peace after talking to him. I still feel pressure when I think about what Dad and I need to prepare you for; the priesthood, a mission, patriarch of you future home and family. I know that you are a strong boy, but I hope that I am up to the task of preparing you.

I love you!
Mom

Colds

Dear Grace,

This morning you got up with Ryan at 6:45. I tried to get you to take a nap, but you are a big girl and feel no need for such things. It amazes me how much you have grown. I forget sometimes that you are only four years old. You say the funniest things and are very methodical.

Tonight I got you and Ryan in bed by 7:45. You woke up crying at 8:15 mumbling something. I tried to understand what you said both times you said it, but it was unintelligible. I ended up bringing you out on the couch as I typed this entry. You decided that your bed was more comfortable. Before entering your room you turned to me and said, "Have fun paying bills." I thought that was so cute.

You are coming down with a cold that hit me hard yesterday. All day you have been so sweet and let me take naps. You played by yourself for hours today. Usually when I nap you wake me every five or ten minutes and ask, "Mom, when are you going to wake up from your nap." The way you ask the question cracks me up because you ask like you don't care if I sleep you just want to know when I will be up, so you can plan your day.

You are the Star Student at school and are so excited about it. Your teacher sent home a laminated poster for us to fill out. It asks questions like, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and "What is your favorite subject in school?". You colored all over it and I had to find space to write answers in. You are so enthusiastic about everything.

You give your brother kisses until he cries or until Dad or I tell you to give Ryan some space. Granny tells me that this will fade, but it has not lessened at all in the last month. I don't mind it too much unless i am getting smothered in the process. Then I start to feel a little claustrophobic. You are so cute with Ryan though. I know that you love him so much.

Goodnight sweet angel.
Mom

Opening Thoughts

Derek has urged me to keep a journal to help my memory. I think I might have the beginnings of Alzheimer's or something. I cannot remember events in the past. I never have bragged about my memory. I think it is fine, but when I am compared to Derek and Grace it is amazing I don't forget my pants every morning. Instead of writing in a journal every day I figured that I would put my thoughts, experiences and things I want in this blog.

I have also wanted to start journals for Grace and Ryan so I am going to write thoughts to them here as well.